[Intro: “Days” is a series where I’ll be sharing pieces from my personal diary. I won’t be posting anything too personal , just lifestyle moments and reflections. This series is also a way for me to stay consistent with my writing.]
22/08/2025
It’s raining, 4:42 am. Rockstar’s song ‘Jo Bhi Main’ is buzzing in my headphones.
Once again, I failed to complete the paper today, fed up with citations and referencing.
Thinking about why? How? Whom? And who?
Huh! The distractions, the life!
I cooked chicken for dinner today, it was my kinda recipe a spicy pepper chicken. You know what, it turned out terrible. I loved it. Ma fried some porotha, I chopped some salads, and we ended up with coke. After a heavy meal, I love coke with a pinch of jol jira.
My brother is an idiot, he never appreciates my cooking.
On regular days I don’t cook much because of my irregular routine, but whenever I feel disturbed, cooking becomes my therapy. This whole week, since he’s been home, I’ve tried making several dishes, but not a word of appreciation from him. Still, I know he loves my cooking.
Baba always says, stop expecting from people, even from life. Just give your inputs, that’s your duty.
I’ve already forgotten half the words I wanted to write. ‘Jo Bhi Main
Kehna Chaahun Barbad Karein Alfaaz Mere’
Have to sleep now. There’s a lot on my plate tomorrow. Byeee!
28/08/2025
I just watched ‘500 Days of Summer’, which I started yesterday. It’s not a typical love story.I ended it with tears when Summer and Tom met for the last time on that same bench where they used to sit, the place they both loved. My eyes were full of tears, and I could recall a scene like this happening in my own life too. We also met for the last time, I guess, in our favorite place. It’s all about coincidence, it’s really all about fate. Nothing means anything without fate and coincidence. If something is meant to happen, it will, wherever you go, however you live.
I still remember that day. I was waiting for someone else, but I turned my neck to check if she was coming or not, and I found him just behind me. For a while, I couldn’t figure out if it was really him or someone else. I checked twice,it was really him. But how? We hadn’t been in contact for so long. Yet we met in the same place where we once started us.What is it, except a random coincidence? I don’t know. I found similarities with this story, but I’m not going to marry anyone. I’m just not sure whether he will find his Autumn or not.
5/09/2025
It was our birthday same day, same things, same people. The ones who truly love, the ones who truly care. It’s been three years since we last cut the cake together, and I can feel this chest ache reminding me how much I love them. Once, we fought and told each other, “চলে যা বাড়ি থেকে” and now I crave them, just want to see them, touch them.
Huh! Life…
I’m 25 now, with soooo much uncertainty. I don’t know where I’ll stay, where life will take me, what my destination is, or what I’m going to do. Honestly, I know nothing just nothing.
On this birthday, I learned a lot about the word expectations. They crashed on me. Being an over-expectant girly, I expected too much from people, from life and that’s what hit me the hardest. I promised myself to stop this nonsense.
Missing babi and vai on birthdays has become a ritual. They have people around them, spending a happening birthday, but sometimes I feel privileged staying home. Yes, it’s quite boring, but with Ma’s hather ranna and old friends, it becomes a little better( rini ke bolechilam kakima schle a tiffin a chowmin baniye dito khub valo lagto , hotath dakhi tiffin box vorti chowmin tau abar ai dine,maer sathe sokale pujo diye , bari ase sorshe ilish vapa r dehradun chaler vath, bondhuder sathe sondeh te hasi moja oder ana pastry , chocolate) What more could I ask for? Am I not privileged too?
It’s 6:29 a.m., and I’m writing this… I just finished watching a movie, ‘Tu Hai Mera Sunday’. An underrated and comforting film, such a sweet story. The line I loved: “Fight, fight, don’t escape it, chase it.”
That’s what I’ve always done whether with maths or with my paper’s referencing, I escaped! But the good thing is, I made a decision: to deactivate my Instagram and Facebook accounts until Pujo.
__________
STAY SAFE
BE HAPPY
THANKS A LOT FOR VISITING.
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My secret diary 